the most exciting blog post you’ll read all day
Sometimes, I have an overwhelming desire to prove to others that I do, indeed, do something during the day. Even on the days where I don’t put on pants until 3PM. As such, I’d like to share with you my plans for tomorrow, on such a hallowed occasion as Valentine’s Day.
I get up at 5AM. No, really. Every day. I’m half trained this way, and I also require time to myself before the day gets started. This particular morning, I shall be putting out presents for my kids (we somehow got stuck in a loop of present-giving on all holidays and I can’t seem to break it), and then make them a special breakfast, which, I believe, shall be cinnamon toast muffins. Then I will make lunches, and mop the bathroom, as we have one extraordinarily incontinent cat (along with two others of varying bladder capacities), and then brew the life-giving coffee.
I wake the family up, harass the children through dressing and teethbrushing. I hope I am thanked for my efforts on Valentine’s Day, but I won’t hold my breath. It is not my day for carpool, so I get to boot them out the door. Huzzah.
When husband leaves for work, I get to dick around for a bit. Then I should, technically, work on the editing I’m doing for the collab Laila and I are attempting to put together. I am also working on a birthday present for a family friend, and that will take up some of my precious time, as will FINALLY catching up on Downton Abbey as I do so. I might clean, though that’s unlikely. I’ll think about it, I’m sure. Probably.
The kids are out of school at 3:45. I’ll get them, and wine, and we’ll never be sure which pick-up is more important. I’m only making them dinner (mac and cheese, by request), as the husband as decided to make me dinner for the holiday.
There will be eating, and boozing.
Evenings, I write. I am dedicated to at least 1k a night which, I admit, does not sound like a lot. I try to feel good about it anyway. I am in a loop of feeling crappy about myself and my writing and then hating the rest of the world for making me feel this way. There will be more drinking of wine, and likely more episodes of The Office. John Krasiniski, you’re better than Calgon.
I don’t feel as though I am a productive person. At the end of the day, no matter what I might have accomplished, I see the laundry I did not put away, the chapter I didn’t finish, the review I haven’t done. I am excellent at self-doubt.
There is something about this that is weirdly motivating, though. Like I might eventually find the switch that fixes it all: someone will love my writing, or I’ll finally figure out where the fuck that smell is coming from in the bathroom.
Oh, but I’m not an optimist. I’ll just drink some more wine, thanks.