Writing when you don’t wanna.
I’ve spent about the last month ill in some fashion. Whatever got me in February had not released its hold when I came down with another illness last week. This one forced me to the doctor, where I wasn’t diagnosed with anything in particular, but treated for a sinus infection and possible bronchitis, put on antibiotics and cough medication.
I spent a great deal of last week in bed, moaning. There was a small amount of writing completed, but, mostly: prone and bitching. I did watch a lot of The Office, but that’s a bit like saying “I breathed today.”
Getting back into writing is hard, no matter what kept you from it. As we all know, I don’t believe in muses, and I don’t really believe in writer’s block: either you write, or you don’t. It’s very Yoda-like, maybe, but I’ve believed it the majority of my life: write, or don’t write. There isn’t some mythical divide between the two. If you don’t do it, you’re not blocked or hampered or prevented in some way. You can write if you can put words on a page. That’s writing.
Crawling up out of depression, or illness, or simple distraction isn’t easy. This week has been a lot of pushing and forcing and probably very, very shitty writing. That’s okay. When you get back on a bike after not riding for awhile, you can’t expect to make it down the mountain without falling. But you keep getting up and pedaling and then you get good again.
Man, I should really lay off the sports metaphors, they show my lack.
As it is, I’m still sick– better, but not 100%. I was that kid who spent half the school year ill, shuttled to the nurse’s office for my medication; I missed a massive chunk of my sophomore year due to chicken pox, and then a swath of my junior year of high school due to bronchitis and a subsequent allergic reaction to penicillin I’m pretty pragmatic when it comes to being sick: I deal. I’m sick so often, I forget there’s something called well.
I’m slow, for now, but I’m working, popping my cough drops all the way. Promise I’m not slacking.
Contributor at Broad Magazine.
"Invincible" in The Dying Goose: Volume 1, Issue 3, Fall 2013.
"Closing Time" 3rd Place in BetterSex 2013 Erotic Fiction Contest: Female Fantasies.
"Proofing" in I am Subject: Women Awakening: Discovering Our Personal Truths, edited by Diana DeBella, published by Wild Ginger Press, September 2014.