Writing when you don’t wanna.

I’ve spent about the last month ill in some fashion. Whatever got me in February had not released its hold when I came down with another illness last week. This one forced me to the doctor, where I wasn’t diagnosed with anything in particular, but treated for a sinus infection and possible bronchitis, put on antibiotics and cough medication.

I spent a great deal of last week in bed, moaning. There was a small amount of writing completed, but, mostly: prone and bitching. I did watch a lot of The Office, but that’s a bit like saying “I breathed today.”

Getting back into writing is hard, no matter what kept you from it. As we all know, I don’t believe in muses, and I don’t really believe in writer’s block: either you write, or you don’t. It’s very Yoda-like, maybe, but I’ve believed it the majority of my life: write, or don’t write. There isn’t some mythical divide between the two. If you don’t do it, you’re not blocked or hampered or prevented in some way. You can write if you can put words on a page. That’s writing.

Crawling up out of depression, or illness, or simple distraction isn’t easy. This week has been a lot of pushing and forcing and probably very, very shitty writing. That’s okay. When you get back on a bike after not riding for awhile, you can’t expect to make it down the mountain without falling. But you keep getting up and pedaling and then you get good again.

Man, I should really lay off the sports metaphors, they show my lack.

As it is, I’m still sick– better, but not 100%. I was that kid who spent half the school year ill, shuttled to the nurse’s office for my medication; I missed a massive chunk of my sophomore year due to chicken pox, and then a swath of my junior year of high school due to bronchitis and a subsequent allergic reaction to penicillin  I’m pretty pragmatic when it comes to being sick: I deal. I’m sick so often, I forget there’s something called well.

I’m slow, for now, but I’m working, popping my cough drops all the way. Promise I’m not slacking.

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7 responses to “Writing when you don’t wanna.”

  1. CatLadyJennie says :

    I can relate to this so much right now. Good luck!

  2. Shannon says :

    I hope that you feel better! In the meantime, just keep writing, like you said. I can relate so much to putting it off and procrastinating, and your post really put it how it is. There is no excuse not to write, even if it isn’t necessarily on a blog. That’s something I tend to forget…that writing takes many forms, from a grocery list, to a school essay, to a blog. Thank you for the inspiration! Praying for you!

  3. Shannon says :

    Reblogged this on Live, Love, Laugh, Dance, Pray and commented:
    There is no excuse not to write. None! Such a great reminder….

  4. Kathmandu says :

    It must be the change of weather, we are all down with flu this side of the world too. The cold is going away and the sun is up. One tends to remove the woollies and the sneezing begins. Anyway, get well soon.

  5. Valter Arnesson says :

    What do you mean when you say that you don’t belive in muses?

  6. mgm75 says :

    Using a running metaphor I once heard “if you only ran half your usual distance today because you weren’t feeling 100%, you still ran more than somebody sat on the couch”. Same with writing. You might only have written 100 words today but that’s 100 more than somebody who didn’t write.

    Hope you feel better soon.

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